I have a new favorite place to be. It is in the front passenger seat of my friend's car. The car is a standard transmission, with a black interior and a cool dash, and my friend enjoys driving. And usually it is evening or night, and I half close my eyes, which makes streams of the lights from passing cars, and it's very quiet, or maybe the engine does purr. So, it is a singular place, and I am aware of my surroundings, but not actively involved, I don't have to do anything. My attention is focused on abstract visuals, and our conversation. The conversation is important and special, because I cannot lie, and it has something to do with the friend, of course, but it has something to do with the space as well. I feel compelled to be as honest as I can, and I feel comfortable with that. I feel authentic. I feel like I am being my best self, and I like that feeling.
The friend is a platonic male friend, and someone asked me recently if I ever had a platonic male friend. I answered "Who isn't gay?" but the answer is yes. I had a housemate in grad school, and he taught me how to have a good verbal fight (the trick is to always end it with a joke). He was familiar to me, like a second cousin. I wanted him to be happy and successful, I still do. I was not jealous of his girlfriends, but of his relationships, and then I got involved with someone myself, and that became a non-issue. I enjoy his wife, and think his kids are sweet and smart and sharp. I owe him a call.
This friend is different. Culturally, religiously, chronologically, maybe even temperamentally, and I don't care. No, it's not that I don't care, I find it interesting. I find it fascinating.
Backing up to when I was in grad school, I had a teacher who met and interviewed a famously talented director. She said that he looked right into her eyes, as if he were looking into her soul, as if she was the only one in the room, and with the kind of passion reserved for one's unique true love, he proceeded to tell her about his next project. My friend can get like that, I suspect because he's famously talented, but doesn't know it yet.
The most and the least I can give him is honest feedback.
The Art for the Day is: Fearlessness and Compassion
posted by the other Joan @ 4:34 AM
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